I'm aware that this is very much not what you come to White Lightning for, but man cannot live on porn alone. For one thing, you shouldn't read it to your kids.
A friend and I made something you can read to your kids: a children's book about a bibliophilic hedgehog.
But publishing kids' books turns out to be super expensive if you don't want to sell your soul to Golden or Scholastic or another outfit with editorial control clauses in its contracts. , but those don't succeed unless you really work at spreading the word.
So that's what I've come here to ask: not for your money exactly, but for your social connections. If you have friends with kids, point them to find out about my project. If you feel uncomfortable doing that sight unseen, a preview of the book is available